Lie of comparison

Happy New Year! I pray that everyone’s new year is off to an incredible start. I took off over the holidays to enjoy extra time with my family. During that break, it allowed me time to reflect on the way I use social media, mainly Instagram and how it’s more of a blessing in my life, rather than something that is distracting or negative.

As a stay-at-home mom, it’s easy to feel isolated and overwhelmed with your 24-7 job, that’s why I enjoy the community of Instagram.
From the beginning, back in genesis 2 God said that “it’s not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” God designed people for relationships and to be in community together. Over the past years, I’ve developed many new healthy friendships through Instagram with other moms and women of faith. Even though I have never met some and we live in different states, we exchange Christmas cards and I truly enjoy watching their children grow up in their videos and posts. It’s also helped me to maintain friendships with family and friends who I don’t get the privilege of seeing each week. I’m so grateful for the little platform it has given me to share my heart on love light Mom life. While all these things are great, I wanted to get into how the lie of comparison and the enemy can sneak into our minds, on the daily, to kill, steal and destroy our joy.

It’s true that instagram is a highlight reel! Everyone puts their best of the best and I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t spend much time on Facebook anymore. I love seeing my friends highlights and sharing mines. In these past weeks I’ve seen thousands of strangers come together in agreement and prayer for a little boy and his family who have been battling with a life threatening sickness from E. coli. What strength and love that sweet family must feel in such tough times. Community is beautiful.

No matter who you are or where you are in life, you can’t say that there has never been a time where comparison hasn’t popped in your mind. It seems to storm in on the days where you’re the most vulnerable. Whether it be someone’s selfies, house, relationship status, fitness goals, or kids, that ugly lie of comparison will catch you off guard.
The comparison that can steal my joy is when it comes to motherhood. My oldest son Zion was a late talker. Up until he was three years old he could only say three words. We had him in speech therapy, and even though I had peace and knew he was fine, and that he just chose to communicate differently, I was plagued with the thoughts of his not speaking was because I was not being a good enough mother. I would see progress in his speech and then go on Instagram to see a one year old sing the “happy birthday” song to their parent, when yet my three year old would only say a handful of words. I hurt and feared for him, yet I felt like I was failing at raising him. It would eat at me everyday until I finally surrendered it to God. He gave me peace and I knew deep down that his speech delay had nothing to do with the way I was mothering him. A week later it was like a flood of words and sentences came to him and it was like he woke up saying Mom I’m ready to use my words. This matured me in my faith and opened my eyes up to how I would allow the enemy to take over my thoughts.
There’s still days where I will see a 1 year old child potty trained before my 2 year old, or another 2 year old already talking in full sentences. As these negative thoughts of me not doing enough as a mom come flooding in, I literally put my phone down, and I address the emotions I’m feeling. Instead of letting these thoughts make me feel inadequate, I use them to inspire me. “Wow, maybe instead of going out adventuring all week, I’ll make a commitment to stay home this week to focus on potty training my child.” Or “Instead of letting my boys watch their favorite “Cars”movie on repeat, we can sit down and practice the alphabet and sounding out words.” It takes me 2 minutes to reset and it doesn’t damper my feelings or self worth.

Maybe your struggle with comparison is body image and every time you see a gym selfie you cringe and roll your eyes, or maybe your house is a mess and you don’t have a passion for being a homemaker so you feel unworthy because all your friends have the cutest decorated homes. Use that as inspiration. If you want that in your life, then make the time and put in the effort for those things. If those things aren’t your passion, then find a tool to remember that your self-worth has nothing to do with the way you perform your roles in life, but, everything to do with how God has created you perfectly in His image!
Your value has nothing to do with the amount of likes, comments, or followers you have on social media.
The faster you grab hold on to God’s truth the easier and more enjoyable you will feel when looking at everyone else’s highlight reel, knowing we all have different struggles. It’s such a blessing to see others being blessed in their own life.

Over this past year, I have made my Instagram feed to share my artistic passion of photography and photographing my Mom life with my kids. I’ve noticed complete strangers take more interest in my life than some of my family and friends who I consider close. People who I would think would want to keep up with my life don’t even interact with my account anymore. Yet, I have acquaintances who I find are genuine and share more of a friendship with me on social media. These changes I noticed did deeply impact me this past year. I found myself in feelings like rejection. I would post something and have anxiety on how it would make others feel. It made me all together almost delete my account. That’s when I realized that the enemy was putting those false thoughts in my head. He was trying to stop me from doing God’s will and moving forward with my blog. That’s when God revealed to me this topic of comparison, and I realized that every person struggles in different areas of comparison. Not everyone’s is going to care if I did a hike with my two kids, or that I go to my Barre class during the week and that’s okay! I love the little community I have on Instagram and the few life long friendships I’ve been given.

6 comments

  1. Mata

    Such an insightful post sis! Love everything you said💜

    Reply

    1. nalani.garza@yahoo.com

      Thanks sis for the support! I know you understand too ❤️

      Reply

  2. Meaghan

    That was an awesome post, I can really confide in what your saying about getting emotionally caught up in social media, I think that’s one of my biggest issues for me as a make up artist and posting my art and my ideas for the world to see. Sometimes I feel like their are so many make up artist out their why am I gonna be doing the same thing I’m just like the rest. . . Though that’s not the case cause everyone is still so different and sometimes somethings are not for everyone. I can’t get caught up in what I think everyone may be thinking of me or that I’m not adequate enough. To sum it up. . . We can’t be influenced by what goes on around us, we have to live our live for ourself cause no one can do it but us and we should live by no one else’s standards but HIS and ours. After all if we didn’t for fill ourselves in life that would be no life to live at all. Just some thoughts that came to me after reading 🙂

    Love Meaghan

    Reply

    1. nalani.garza@yahoo.com

      Oh I totally get you on that! I feel the same way when it comes to my photography. It can be disheartening and make you feel timid. I agree, we are all so different and we can’t let ourselves think that way! Thanks for the support sister! It means the world ❤️

      Reply

  3. Tiffany

    Thank you for this. It’s a timely word for me. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I love you sis!

    Reply

    1. nalani.garza@yahoo.com

      This topic is always timely for me! Love you sis! Thanks for always cheering me on ❤️

      Reply

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